About two years ago I was busy driving several friends crazy with questions of should I start writing, what should I write about, who wants to hear what I have to say? These questions of self-doubting circled in my thoughts like a spinning top that refused to stop. The initial questions and thoughts about being a writer were fun at first, but then they became tiresome. Tiresome to me, and to others who had tried in vain to prop my ego up enough to get me motivated towards starting the great writing project would change my life. [Read Sarcasm]
Well, it doesn’t work that way and it probably shouldn’t. Trapped in the web of my own mind, and endlessly struggling with my sense of worth and voice, I let the two years come and go without getting much actual writing done. I even went so far as to try and trick myself into writing by paying for a Word Press site.
In hindsight, I realize that I over thought my new project so much that I had surrendered my personal power, and I got stuck, and nothing seemed to move me towards action. A few months ago something shifted and with the help of an old friend who is a book coach I finally started writing. I struggle daily with the process of writing. I struggle with insecurity and keeping to a schedule. I struggle with keeping boundaries around the time that I schedule for writing because if I don’t schedule my writing and see it as my job it’s always going to come in second or third to something else. If I don’t take it seriously no one else will either. So here I am, taking it seriously. That stupid myth that inspired writing is part of some sort of spontaneous inspiration from a heavenly muse is bullshit. The job of a writer is more often than not completely romanticized, and I am certainly guilty of romanticizing the shit out of it.
So two years after securing my own private little space in the Interwebs I’m posting my first blog post. This is it, my first attempt at exercising the power of my voice in such a public way (Facebookistan doesn’t count). Am I nervous? You bet your ass. Part of writing for me is about giving voice to my passions (and there are many). I invite you to join me as I continue to try and be brave, passionate, and thoughtful in this space. This site and/or essay won’t be for everyone. I get that, and I’m groovy with it, because my power is my own and my readers aren’t responsible for that, you just get to join me on the ride.